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Sometimes a single question can unlock everything. In today’s excerpt from the upcoming release of the sequel to The Buzz @ Chicky-Pie’s Café, Elise is traveling by train, haunted by childhood memories and searching for answers about faith, healing, and whether we can ever truly escape our past…

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As I sat in the silence, listening to the steady hum of the train’s engine pressing towards Phoenix, a picture of Papa and Nana’s farmhouse came to mind. It was small and sat close to the railroad tracks, but its rustic charm and large neighborly porch made it easy for them to greet neighbors and stay in touch with the world as folks passed by. The land surrounding their property was mostly barren, with a small patch of vegetables and several rows of corn. But the chickens roamed freely and were conveniently too dumb to avoid the railroad tracks. I could almost hear Nana’s soft voice saying: “Sometimes, their stupidity makes it easy to decide what to have for dinner. ‘Course, it also puts a crimp in the number of eggs laid, too.”

Remembering the bedroom at the back of the house, I smiled. On the dresser was a small jewelry box. I always thought it was magical, the way—once opened—a tiny ballerina popped up and twirled around as tinkling music played. I’d never seen anything so beautiful.

How funny that I still remember that music box and that train rumbling by. I couldn’t have been more than three or four then, but I was grateful for the memories. They were bright, colorful snapshots that stubbornly refused to fade, unlike many of my other memories. I strained to see my grandparents’ faces, but that memory was dim, only a faded impression of two loving people in my life.

Another memory of them stirred, too. It was pressed into my heart like leaves preserved between pages in a book. One night, I’d overheard Nana telling someone a tragic story—was she telling my dad, or mama? I couldn’t remember. But the story I heard that night painted a vivid, lasting impression in my mind.

“Johnny got his foot lodged in the railroad tracks while walking home from school. He had just turned nine. A tramp tried to help him—even tried to stop the train. But the conductor didn’t pay any attention to the bum. So, my kind, fun-loving boy died. My other son, Billy, was killed two years later when a horse threw him into the path of a car.”

The deep sorrow in her words floated through my memory as clearly as they had filtered through that wooden door so many years ago. My grandparents had suffered deeply. Yet during my brief time with them, they never seemed broken. One thing struck me clearly—my grandparents were people of resilient faith and love.

Maybe one day, I’ll have a strong faith like that, I thought. They had just as much reason as I did to be angry and mistrustful of God, yet they weren’t. Instead, they were joyful, kind, and loving. So why am I angry at God again, even if the recent physical attacks on me were brutal? Especially after God rescued me once more. Why would God still want me after I rejected his love again by depending on drugs? A voice slithered into my head. Would God want someone who calls themself a Christian yet lies to her friends, and lets herself get addicted to pain meds? 

I cringed.

A fresh wave of shame washed over me. But looking across from me at the sight of Mell’s open and loving expression amid my mess was a picture I couldn’t ignore. Her bright smile has continued to radiate peace and acceptance no matter how far I stray.

Nana used to say: “You can take a person out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the person.” What about taking damage out of an abused soul? I wondered. Maybe taking a train and coming here eight years ago took me away from the dangers of the Burrows, but did I travel far enough away from my demons? The biting question pricked my mind with a nagging edge.

***

Want to know what led to this pivotal moment in Elise’s journey? Catch up on her harrowing journey in The Buzz @ Chicky-Pie’s Café. Then, join my email list for deeper insights into the characters and themes that shape this story, plus exclusive excerpts and behind-the-scenes content from the upcoming sequel!

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